despite my use of the words, i hate all verb and noun forms of the word "blog," including but not limited to blog, blogger, blogging, blogged, unblog, reblog, uber-blog, have bloggened, etc.

I tried to file my taxes online with www.fileyourtaxes.com

I kept getting an error saying that my W-2 forms were blank from both federal and state returns. I checked my W-2s several times. I asked for assistance from their customer service. After two form letters explaining how I was to fill out my forms, which I did exactly as they were printed from my employer, I gave up.

I sent an email asking for my money back because I couldn't file with their system. They claimed that the cost was for constructing my tax forms.

In other words, through no fault of my own (I suspect a glitch with their system), I could not file online with them. I am not using any returns they constructed (since you can't see them until they're filed), and I'm mailing them in after doing them myself by had. And, they refuse to return the $72.

I'm not one to campaign, and I'm sure my little post here won't do anything. But, if one person reads this and then does not use them, that's $72 more they won't get. And, I will feel slightly vindicated.

it's about midnight, and i'm not even hungry. but i really want chips.

those big, fat, glorious potato wedges that were deep-fried in the same grease as the fish and covered in salt.

good, cheap chipper chips.

i'm telling you, there are some things ROI and UK have got right.

one of them is curry. the other is chips.

what do you do when you're bored, and you have nothing to do in the house?

the obvious answers are extirpated by this caveat: i am morally opposed to doing any work as a restorative after this week.

Chicken, beef and lamb better scurry
When I make my hot little curry,
When I make my hot little curry that will singe your top!
Feel that singe and talk with a stutter
When I add some rice and some butter.
Cosy smokes'll help - only what're bound to make it stop!
The curry's yeller, the onions are brown,
The peppers defy Irish weather,
With beef in the curry you can wolf right down,
Misplace your brain altogether.

if you catch the reference, it means you're a geek or you're madbard. or, in the case of madbard, both. (shout-out to m' peeps)

i made and ate the spiciest beef curry known to man last night. the trick: leave the vindaloo curry paste in the fridge for a month. it only gets hotter. then add too much curry paste because that's what you usually do to make it spicy.

the trick to eating it? a lot of rice, a shot of whiskey, and a chaser of cigarettes (smoked, not eaten). seriously, you have to kill your tastebuds.

i am deeply, profoundly satisfied on a level that rivals completion of a 20-minute orchestra piece, sexual gratification, and spring cleaning rolled into one.

in fact, today i don't have to compose, have sex, or clean because the curry was so satisfying.

hmmm... i might be on to something here...

right, so i get an invitation to join something called superwall to see a message someone sent me.

fine.

think i'm skipping all the business that sends stuff to friends.

then i see this funny, horribly rude card that i figure would suit my bestest friend of over 10 years.

guess what superwall does?

SENDS IT TO EVERYONE.

i have professional connections who have now received a card telling them what i think about men.

nice.

dear universe,

i sincerely, sincerely apologize. i do NOT actually think men are like floor tiles. it was intended tongue-in-cheek to a person who knows me well enough to know how to receive it.

and please, i cannot take any more acute pain, distress, humiliation, and/or strife. the last past 3 days were sufficient for my monthly quota. you win.

k

actually finished my grading.

only to find that i had an internal university deadline for the grant i'm writing (due end of this week). oops.

last night, we had a wind storm which i fell asleep during. apparently the winds reached 130km/hr. at least i caught the freak snow the day before.

seriously weird weather here.

right, and now i've fallen into the trap of talking about the weather. again. honestly, my life is more interesting than that... i think... i hope... ah f' it.

in other news, irish food is making me fat. i've easily gained 10-15 pounds since arriving. but i'm having a fabulous hair day. unrelated phenomena, i assure you, but an example of balance in the universe.

since my things have arrived, i'm having a prolonged christmas. i went through the boxes and unloaded everything that stays in the apartment. it feels so much more like home to have a wall lined with full bookshelves. on the other hand, the other half of my library belongs in my office. so, every day, i bring three fully-loaded bags into the office. plus side, i'm watching my office library grow, and i look upon my shelves with contentment. down side, i've now torn two of my favorite pleather jackets that i've waited four months to have. plus side, now i get to search for funky stores where i can get more uniquely kerry-quality funky jackets. down side, limerick is small. but i have some good leads from my more fashion-conscious friends.

i've decided to purchase the 120Gb ipod classic. and a MOTU 828. between jackets and gear, i have some quality shopping ahead of me... as soon as i can get this f'in grant done.

or maybe i should just go online for the gear. hmmmm....

ok.

there should be warnings on these things. lesson learned.

lesson: only drink lucozade in the direst of situations. since i was not tired and feeling pretty well, the lucozade made me jittery and sick to my stomach. and, it enhances your mood. so if you're feeling a little bitchy, you turn into downright pissy.

anyway, it's saturday so everything is closed and the heat is turned off... but i have to grade projects now. no food, no coffee... anyone wanna take bets on how long it'll take before i buy another lucozade?

apparently, there is "original" and "orange" flavored lucozade.

they're both nasty.

on the one hand, the orange flavoring is such a bastardization of anything remotely citrus, it's unnerving. on the other hand, it slightly masks whatever flavor "original" supposedly has. which is like nothing found on earth. and i mean that in the worst possible way.

although i was reserving lucozade for extreme situations, i found that i had a scientific imperative to empirically test the original flavor and to re-create the results of yesterday's experiment.

so far, the only result is that i find myself bored with norah jones. successful music to grade by so far has been:

beastie boys
bulgarian women's choir
blues masters, volume 9
the orb

well, apparently snow is rare here. and we've had an incredibly unusually mild fall and early winter. so, it was somewhat thrilling to see snow dump down this morning. it's already gone, what with the rain that followed, but it was nice while it lasted.

finally broke down and closed my office blinds today. the wintry wind is blowing in exactly the right direction to find the drafty holes in my windows. the radiator can't keep up. the blinds will only make it marginally better. i bundled up today, so i'm situated in that uncomfortable in-between state where i'm over-warm, but my fingers and nose are like ice.

ah, feck it... you know, i often read over what i've written to make sure 1) no grammatical or spelling errors (which i still miss at times), 2) my post makes sense (at least to me), and 3) it's not horribly boring. talking about the weather and my drafty office has got to be on the top ten of boring topics list.

so no more on that. or on the grading or the deadlines. or on the boxes of books that i need to transport somehow from my home to my office. though all those things are what i'm thinking about.

so instead, i'll move from mundane to inane. after 5 or 6 cups of coffee yesterday, i still couldn't bring myself to wake up enough to work, much less find motivation. when the soda machine didn't dispense any diet coke, i was faced with the only option to drink something with sugar in it. there's this kind of energy drink here called "lucozade." you can tell which of your students are hungover by who is drinking lucozade at 9am.
rather than going with regular coke, i decided to try this so-called energy drink.

absolute, undeniable, thoroughly disgusting shite. i almost spit the first mouthful out, but i was meeting with one of my phd students. as it was, he got a good chuckle out of my string of expletives and responded with, "never had lucozade before, is it?"

i think someone ought to be shot for daring to call it "citrus orange flavored carbonated beverage."

but then the most amazing thing happened. about 30 minutes later, i felt better (physically) than i have felt in about a year. today, the porter (a friend, too) said that lucozade used to be a medicine you could only get from a pharmacy.

huh. go figure.

if it didn't have so much sugar, i might be hooked. hell, even with the amount of sugar i might be hooked. but, i'll stick to coffee and reserve the jet fuel for the special occasions.

that's right.


my mother's flight arrives TOMORROW at 6:40.


i suck.


you have no idea what i went through in order to be ready for my mother's arrival this morning. no idea. all week. no idea.


i really suck.

should be	actually
grading	going shopping
grading	playing piano
learning next semester's material	copying scores
submitting paperwork for my newest phd student (number 3!)	going shopping
grading	drinking
grading	writing in livejournal
grading	plastering my office with my favorite xkcd strips

seriously, though, how does he think up the stuff?

Dr Elizabeth? I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat...

i know that i will have been a good lecturer when my students understand everything i've put up on my walls.

-Numbers of the form n sqrt(-1) are "imaginary," but can still be used in equations.
-Okay.
-And e ^ (pi sqrt(-1)) = -1.
-Now you're just fucking with me.

and of course, the most famous:

-Make me a sandwich.
-What? Make it yourself.
-sudo make me a sandwich.
-Okay.

please mr munroe. i'm a big fan. don't hate me because i quoted you. in fact, if you weren't so much younger than me, a complete stranger, in another country, and too much smarter than me i'd be a little in love with you.

oh wait, that hasn't stopped me before.

okay, i'm a little in love with you.

i'd like to think that he'd be interested in how i've placed the strips. i've categorized them by topic, appropriateness, and then i arranged them in mondrian-esque fashions to create aesthetically pleasing panels of comics.

there's the "math humor my students won't get that they can see above my head when they come into my office"

there's the "computer humor that only some faculty will get that faces them as they walk in the door"

there's the "self-effacing music humor that only my colleagues from the CCMCM will get when they walk in the door"

there's the "humor that pertains to my work in digital audio and stochastic music that no one will get when they walk in the door"

there's the "things i find personally funny on the inside of my door to remind me to laugh on the way out"

there's the "slightly off-color, no one should see, but it made me laugh taped to the hidden side of my desk"

and the "nerdy/teaching-related humor on my filing cabinet that would require effort on the part of visitors to see."

for days, i was swearing: i am hungover. i am cold. i am tired. i am NOT sick.

i lived in denial. i went out. i went to concerts. i went to pubs. i went to restaurants. friends kept asking, "are you alright? are you sick? how are you?"

i answered: i am hungover. i am cold. i am tired. i am NOT sick

this morning, in the studio, i finally broke down. "are you alright? are you sick? how are you?"

"i am sick."

102.3 degree fever last night. 100 this morning. damn it all.

but i'm getting better already. i have to go to the party tonight. i have a very expensive red dress to show off. besides, my things arrive on thursday. i have to get permission to park in front of my building and get bookcases for storage. busy. busy. busy.

and, as if that's not enough, i have to give an exam thursday morning, then rush home to make it before the delivery.

oh yeah, and mom arrives on friday.

ugh.

how can something so lame keep me so preoccupied? my god! i think it's because i haven't quite figured out the interface. i don't know... i'm fascinated.

i also like throwing things at people.

but on a more serious note: i definitely browse the social networking sites more when i'm procrastinating and/or feeling isolated. seeing as i'm supposed to be grading 80 Max/MSP & Csound projects right now, it's reasonable to feel both.

as facebook has been one of the most time-consuming things i've bothered with today, i will compile a list of other daily superlatives:

most exciting thing of the day: i broke a nail.
most tiring thing of the day: i walked to the taxi stand.
most habitual thing of the day: i had breakfast at the wild onion.
most intellectual thing of the day: i read a bit more from the god delusion by richard dawkins.
most constructive thing of the day: i walked away.
most considerate thing of the day: i held a door open.
most selfish thing of the day: i called a friend who is leaving for christmas.
most pathetic thing of the day: i sat in my office playing games.
most random thing of the day: i thought of my cat unexpectedly.
most compulsive thing of the day: i re-played the past three days in my head over and over.
most impulsive thing of the day: i gave a gift of a tiara to a facebook friend.


i must have slept 15 hours last night. this is totally unheard of for me. 8 hours is unheard of for me. it's brilliant. no wonder people like sleep so much. i think i would do it more often if i could. what a great form of escape. but it kind of leaves me in this bored, apathetic state. and i'm too much in my head for my own good. this means i probably won't sleep for a week. *sigh*

the drunk skype.


to all the lads out there:



thank you.




thank you very much.

In order to receive my grant funding, I had to have three quotes in for about 35000 Eur worth of computer and audio gear by today. Getting quotes from companies should be easy. Instead, I've spent a total of about 5 working days (not exaggerating...) spread over the last two weeks on the phone with companies in Ireland and the UK. I also need to find a company that will design and manufacture a scaffolding geodesic dome on which to hang the equipment. That needs three quotes. Although I don't have it all, I do have a significant portion of these quotes plus purchase requisitions in. We'll see if we don't lose the money...

I'm still waiting to hear on two grants.

I've been working on two compositions. One for computer (which I've put on hold because the students have needed the studio for their final projects) and one for solo piano. I finished the piano piece a couple of days ago and now have to make the fair copy score. I am also practicing it because I have yet to meet enough performers here. Then yesterday, I was a little depressed, so I went to the studio to tinker. Wrote something else that sounded like it should fit into the third movement... so it's not done any more, I have to mess around with it.

This was last week of classes. It has been hectic trying to write lectures that cover everything on the final. Now the reason I don't just re-write the final is because UL has a special format and template finals have to take. There is also an external review by faculty in Ireland and the UK. This is, apparently, the way things are done here. My first reviewer had no problems. My second reviewer came back the day the final was due saying it was absolutely unacceptable. That happened to be a day that had six hours of teaching. F*ckers.

I've been going to a lot of music concerts of all kinds. My students put on a couple of nights of live electronic music. I was very proud. I've gone to some jazz concerts, DJ shows at clubs, concerts with music like mine, concerts in the same genre with music not like mine, and yesterday I went to see a folk singer. It turned out more like poppy rock. Apparently, he has come a long way since the pub scene. I'm not much of a singer/songwriter fan, but I did prefer the ballads that sounded like his older stuff than the poppy stuff.

I have two PhD students, and if things go according to plan, I should have one more by January and another by the end of this academic year. So far, I haven't needed to spend a lot of time with them, but I suspect that will change next semester. Yesterday, though, I had a good sit-down with them and actually helped them with directions for their new compositions.

I was looking forward to next semester because I was only to teach one module. Monday they sprang another module on me. I want to argue this point, but everyone is as stretched as me until we can get more staff. Not my problem to get more staff, but my problem if it doesn't happen. Of course, these are modules that have never been taught before, so my teaching load is not going to ease.

In a week, I'll have about 90 projects to grade. In about two weeks I'll have 70 essay-style exams to grade. And after that I'll have to write lectures for those modules next semester.

I'll admit, work has made me unduly stressed. But, and I know I'm very, very, very lucky to be able to say this: I am in my ideal job and I love it. I've worked very hard to get here, and it took a lot of patience. But, I'm composing, I'm surrounded by talented and interesting people, I'm making a difference here, and my students are unbelievable. Lecturing is hard work, but it's all worth it when you have an entire room full of bright students suddenly have an "a-ha" moment. Not to mention that I get to build Max/MSP patches and Csound instruments on the fly. It's like a mini-challenge that I set up for myself, and so far I've passed.

My things have arrived in the UK. I sent off the relevant paperwork. Looks like I'm going to end up spending another 500 Eur to get it to Limerick from the UK between shuttle vans, movers, etc. Nice of them to let me know that, huh? And, I have to ask the city council to permit the truck to park in front of my building. Of course, once I sent the paperwork, I was supposed to get a delivery date and I haven't heard a peep. I called them today, and they should have a delivery date soon. They won't start charging me storage costs until I turn down the first delivery date.

My TV doesn't work. Now I don't mind this because I don't watch TV. But it turns out I have to pay a yearly TV tax just to have one in my apartment. I've called the management, and they are supposedly looking into it, but if I don't pay that TV tax, then I'll get fined or something. So, there was 156 Eur down the tube. The TV should be fixed by Monday.

Finally got a doctor. Finally have a psychiatrist, who I'll meet December 5 or 6. Since he's public, he won't cost me anything. Yay socialized health care! Drugs, on the other hand, will until I get my drug refund card. I've sent in the application, but I haven't received the card yet, and probably won't for a while. There's a couple hundred Euros. The pharmacist says that I can claim expenses because I've already applied for the card, but it could take anywhere from 3-6 months to see that money. It's worth it, though. I should never spend more than 78Eur a month for prescriptions. Yay socialized health care!

Wait, did I mention? YAY SOCIALIZED HEALTH CARE!

As for my social life, I try to squeeze in what I can. So, last Saturday I went sailing with some lads. We went to Lough Derg. We sailed across the lake to a pub where we had a fantastic seafood chowder, then sailed back. I take after my father, apparently. I kept pushing the boat to go faster. Kept heeling as far as I could to make it go even faster. Two of the lads hadn't ever been sailing before. I think they preferred it when one of the others took over. Personally, I prefer the close haul, but the lads liked the beam reach. Gentler.

Friday night, I went home early and cooked a stew for two lads. G said it was like something an Italian grandmother would make... a huge compliment from an Italian.

I have a crush. It's going away. But it has added some spice to the last two months. My friends, L & M, broke up after 8 years. So, there's a little drama there. But we still hang out. And I often go for Indian food with my friend, R. Mom is coming for Christmas. We were supposed to go to the department admin's house. She's really sweet and wanted us to have a real family-like dinner. Except a couple days ago, she had her baby 7 weeks early. Not sure how that lands dinner... Ew, the juxtaposition of those two sentences brought to mind a slew of dead baby jokes. Bad taste, k, bad taste. Ew, that was icky, too.

oh, and i'm on skype now, so you can find me there. other instant messengers crash behind our firewall, so please! add me as your friend on skype, and i'll keep in better touch.




everyone i knew personally in san diego escaped the fires (i think), though some friends of friends lost everything. it was devastating - worse than 4 years ago.

so, next year, the ICMC (international computer music conference) is in belfast. so, i'm definitely going, no problem. unfortunately, some truly undesirables have made noises like they are going, too. christ, can't even escape them by fleeing the country. what is this world coming to?

okay. so. i have to pay to use a shuttle vehicle because a 40ft container truck can't fit by my apartment. Eur350.

i have to go to the city council to get parking reserved in front of my door. god knows how much that will cost.

just read the fine print: they're going to charge me more for the 4th floor because THEY ARE ONLY CONTRACTED TO GO TO THE SECOND.
god knows how much THAT will cost.

it's rape. pure, unadulterated, bend over, squeal like a pig rape.

#(*$&@*(#&$)(*&#@&$*&^!*(#)(%$()!*&@_{%*(@*#$()

heya folks. so i went to music school at carnegie mellon with this incredible bass player named daniel bodwell. now there is a show in limerick with a dan bodwell playing bass. i did a bunch of internet searches to find pictures, and lo and behold, daniel bodwell now resides here in ireland.

so, i've confirmed that the daniel bodwell i know is in ireland. but the picture of the bassist in the group photo for the gig on the 21st of november is NOT the dan bodwell i know.

so, either there are two dan bodwells who play jazz bass in ireland (not impossible), the photo is not of the group actually playing (more likely), or the dan bodwell from CMU is playing in limerick (unfeckingbelievable).

anyone here remember/knew him and can get in touch with him? if he's coming to limerick, i want to catch up.